royal_musings | Cooking Lessons & A Free Dinner [for @noreasonneeded]

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Cooking Lessons & A Free Dinner [for @noreasonneeded]

It had been far too long since Kaz, Piper and himself had all gotten together for just about anything. He saw Piper plenty and he was starting to see Kaz often enough. But for the three of them?

When was the last time they were all in the same room together?

It had to be before they had taken out Tempest the the former King. After that, everything quickly spiraled. His (unlife) had changed what with taking over the Underworld.

More surprising of them all, Piper had found herself back in New Orleans and she was enjoying it. Not only that but claiming it as her own. Adonis didn't think that would ever actually happen.

And Kaz, it appeared to Adonis, always kept himself busy.

This was partly why Adonis only appeared hesitant to allow Piper to come to the cooking lesson he was giving Kaz.

His plan for tonight was fettuccini alfredo - it would be an easier one for him to make and then next time, because hopefully there would be a next time, he'd want to teach him a curry that had potatoes.

Maybe it was just an excuse to get them all together again, who knows? He needed something other than the literal demons he works with to look forward to.

Adonis teleports himself and Kaz to his penthouse in London the night they all came to agree to and steps back from the other man. "Piper is around here somewhere. No doubt stowing away a bottle or two of whiskey to take back with her, the little magpie," he says, looking around for the witch who made it a habit to nick his bottles of whiskey and take them home with her. "One day I'll have to water the whiskey down and see if she notices."

"First of all, I don't "stow" away anything. You leave far too easy to access. And secondly, I would definitely notice if you watered it down - why would you do that to good whiskey anyway? It's a sacrilege," Piper says, walking into the open space of the living room and sending a grin to Kaz.

"Welcome back to Adonis' obnoxious penthouse. You get everything you needed done in Ravka?" They've talked of course in between but it was always good to hear it from him and not just through text messages.

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For all that he does in pushing people away, holding them at arm’s distance, giving them every means to move away from him onto bigger and better things, the truth of it is that Kaz hates being separated from his people. His anchors in life aren’t his wealth or his businesses, but his family, and he feels unmoored and unsteady whenever one of those pillars is no longer in his presence. Funny, for a man who adamantly spent so many years refusing to rely on anyone but himself. Change is inevitable though, people coming and going like the tides, and he keeps to himself those feelings of unease and focuses on whatever job horizon and people remaining that are left until he can steady himself again.

It therefore makes him happier than he’s willing to admit spending time once more with both Piper and Adonis at the same time. Draped under the guise of learning a new skill for undercover purposes, just seeing them again sands off a little of the rough edges that accumulate due to daily life. As usual he’s dressed in an immaculate severe black suit, with a burgundy and gold waistcoat and shiny black shoes. It’s utterly impractical to cook in, but his image wins out of that fact. Jesper and Nina sent Adonis along with an apron saying “Hot Stuff Coming Through” on it for Kaz to wear, which Kaz promptly just gifted Adonis with instead.

The trip over isn’t too bad given Kaz has prepared himself for it, and the immediate distraction of Piper when arriving makes him smirk slightly. Rather than inserting himself into the conversation he naturally falls back to his default state, letting the banter swirl around him until he’s addressed. “Everything done? No. Enough for now and with seeds planted for the future, though. And it might not be whiskey, but you both can fight over this, too.” He offers over the wine he brought, both a red and a white, outrageously expensive and aged. “Heard it’s good from the mercher moaning about losing some of his wine collection recently.”

No matter how hedonistic Adonis was and how much he loved indulging himself (and others), he was very particular about those he allowed in his sphere. After taking over the Underworld where he would say a good 65-70% still considered him an enemy and traitor, he was even more cautious. Which was why, he enjoyed spending his time with those he did trust including the two in his flat and Kaz's Crows back in Ketterdam.

He feels settled here and more at ease, free to be his complete self to the utter annoyance of Piper, no doubt. It's that ease that he happily accepts the gift from Jesper and Nina on Kaz's behalf because he would absolutely wear it with pride.

Piper takes the two bottles of wine from Kaz and looks them over with a low whistle. "I'm sure he was, these look excellent." She lifts her head to look at him with a grin.

"Seeds planted for your future empire expansion as well, I imagine," she asks before turning and walking toward the decked out kitchen.

Adonis chuckles and follows her toward the kitchen and sets the apron on the island. "Try not to be jealous of the new apron," he says to her before looking at Kaz. "Want anything to drink? One of these bottles of wine, coffee, water... whiskey?"

“Exactly. I also only barely had time to see Alina, she’s busy not just with the court but she’s building an orphanage where she grew up. I told her to let me know what help she needs financially for it.” Ravka is right now deeply in debt, the poor finances making it a large target because it can’t afford better defenses and allies only care so long as it’s beneficial. Kaz puts his foot down on getting involved in politics, but an orphanage? That he’ll lend some money towards. “She didn’t find it funny when I said she could pay me back by letting me know of any kids with sticky fingers who might want a job rather than a tutor’s education, but otherwise, the talk went well.”

True to form, Kaz limps towards Adonis’s counters to examine any spice racks or kitchen tools that are visible. Certain ones he knows well, others are more rare. Those that he isn’t as familiar with he opens up and looks at, sniffing experimentally. He’s a hands on learner who assumes he can help himself to whatever is around him, which means a severe lack of manners and propriety in not touching someone else’s things.

“Coffee is always tempting, but I’ll take a whiskey. We can chill the wines maybe to have with dinner?” Kaz doesn’t have the tolerance level of Adonis, but he figures nursing a whiskey won’t make him that tipsy. “We’d need a lot of whiskey to be jealous of the apron,” he adds a little mischievously, glad he could pawn it off on someone who would appreciate it. Not one to be left with idle hands, Kaz busies himself getting some whiskey tumblers to drink out of. “What are we making?”

"I would be happy to assist as well," Piper says without another thought. "I can also help with protection ruins if she needs it around the orphanage." While Piper has some money saved away and isn't hurting for it, she couldn't help much as much financially as Adonis or Kaz likely could. But she could help with magic, even if she likely had all the help she needed there. Still, she'd offer.

"I'm sure she didn't. She's trying to give them a better start than the life of crime" she laughs and puts the bottles into Adonis' wine fridge. Bougie asshole. But, she supposed, after centuries, he could afford to live that lifestyle.

She turns and watches Kaz examine Adonis's spice racks. "This is what he does in my lab as well," she says to Adonis before walking over to where Adonis keeps the whiskey.

"If there is anything I can do as well, be sure to let me know," Adonis agrees before looking at Piper. "At least in here, nothing is poisonous unlike in your lab," Adonis smirks then watches them get tumblers and whiskey out.

"Yeah, it's a potions lab. For the most part, it's not for eating or consuming. Though, there have been a couple of those but I make those in the kitchen. Don't want to make that mistake again. Also, I hate to be the one to break it to you but no one is jealous of that apron, Adon," she says, walking over with a good bottle of whiskey.

He snorts, remembering one particular instance. "It only took you what... two times to separate them? For the record, you both are menaces," he says and puts the apron on because, yeah, he was going to rock it for the entire time they cook.

"We are making fettuccini alfredo," he continues and starts to take out ingredients. "Also known as the way to Piper's heart... or at least her stomach."

“I’ll let her know,” Kaz promises. “Though I disagree that a life of crime is a bad start.” He knows that he would not be making a convincing case to Alina though if he uses himself as an example. They’re acquaintances, not friends but at least on the same-ish side of most conflicts that life’s tossed them together to handle. He knows her well enough to know she’d find most of what he does unscrupulous and distasteful, though she’s not above using his talents much like Zoya is. He doesn’t really mind the hypocrisy of them paying him to do things they morally refuse to do, as long as he does get paid.

And he completely agrees with Alina that children should have a safe place and someone looking out for them. She’s definitely strong enough now to be the person she needed growing up. So is he.

He smiles a little as Piper and Adonis banter back and forth between one another, busying himself with pouring two fingerfuls of whiskey into the glasses when Piper gets out the booze. He doesn’t add ice or any mixer, preferring to drink it straight as that’s the easiest. “If I’m a menace, remember you’re the one who invited me into your kitchen,” Kaz points out, taking a small sip of his drink and offering the other to Piper. Although Kaz pays such painstaking attention to detail that he’s likely competent in a kitchen, he simply has never bothered to pay much time in one.

“Fettuccine's fine with me.” He sets his glass down, away from where they’ll be cooking. “What are the steps?” Rather than asking how to begin, Kaz of course wants an overview of the entire game plan.

"While everyone in this kitchen would agree to some extent, it doesn't seem like people like Alina would see it like that," Piper muses, taking the glass that Kaz offers her and bringing it up her mouth for a sip. Honestly, Adonis had the best taste in whiskeys. The old her and Jordan would have probably been more like Alina but the version of herself that's been through everything she's been through? She feels like there are worse ways to grow up. So long as they had someone to look out for them and show them the ropes.

"Yeah, that's on me," Adonis snorts, picking up the last glass and taking a sip. As much as he may give them both shit, he didn't really mind. He enjoyed having them both here.

As Piper gets comfortable on a barstool at the kitchen island, Adonis starts to go over the steps they'd go over to make fettuccine, including the homemade pasta and then the sauce. Piper would be tasked with making a small salad. While they cooked, he would go over whatever Kaz may need to know and any lingo he'd know to make the con work. "Does that work?"

Kaz listens, nodding where needed, locking away what he’s told in his mental vault. The hardest part sounds like the pasta making, but he’s not at all surprised that Adonis is having them make it from scratch. “Yeah, that’s fine. You know though that pasta comes in boxes, right? It’s not even expensive,” he jokes, knowing full well the likely response he’ll get to that suggestion. He wonders what Adonis would say to the even more illuminating fact that Kaz has eaten dried pasta right out of the box, not even cooked or with a sauce. Nina claimed to seriously doubt his judgment in all of life after that.

It tasted fine to him.

As a show of infinite trust, Kaz reaches out, his cane extended towards Piper. “Lean that against the island for me?” he requests. He needs both hands free, and better to prop the cane up and out of the way where she’s sitting than at the cooking counter where he and Adonis will be going back and forth. He can manage without it for short periods of time, especially since he won’t be doing much walking. Just to and from the pantry, he figures.

He doesn’t wash his hands, not while wearing gloves, but he does use sanitizer on them. “Don’t expect me to call you chef,” he warns Adonis while reaching for a measuring cup. “We’re starting with the pasta?”

Piper snorts at Kaz's response and takes a sip from her glass. "He thinks boxed pasta is inferior," she mock whispers to Kaz.

"Because it is, you brat, but I admit that it is handy in a pinch when you don't want to go through all of the effort of homemade pasta," Adonis says, having had this same conversation with her off and on over the years.

She smiles and takes Kaz's cane from him to lean it against the island as requested. She knew or at least assumed she knew what it meant that he handed it to her. "I suppose it is better."

Adonis smirks. "I know it is," he looks at Kaz with a snort. "My night is now ruined," he can't help but tease. "But I feel like I'll survive. Yes, the sauce won't take long to make so we'll start with the pasta." He walks Kaz through the process of making the pasta - the ingredients, demonstrating how to mix the dough on the counter and knead it before wrapping it and letting it rest for a little time.

“I’ve just eaten boxed pasta from the box before. It’s not bad.”

It really isn’t, though him sharing that bit of his life is also so he can witness Adonis’s reaction to it.

“Nina then made me add Italian seasoning to them and air fry them because that apparently makes it less like I’m a food gremlin.”

Like most physical activities the pasta making sounds simple in theory but execution is trickier. Kaz builds the little flour circle on his board, with a hollowed part in the center and walls on the outside to hold the egg in. With a fork he starts to slowly and methodologically whisk the eggs inside the center, slowly incorporating the flour from the outside. The wall does break a bit on one side, some egg oozing out, but he quickly mixes it to stop the running. His gaze is focused and determined, brow furrowed as he works. He’s adept with his hands and can take direction well when he allows it, which he is now. Soon enough he has a dough that he can knead. It’s time consuming to fold and press with his hands, but there’s also a certain catharsis in doing it, too.

Adonis opens his mouth before shutting it.

"When you say you've eaten just boxed pasta from the box, do you mean... one? Or did you eat it like chips? Because there's a difference."

Piper bursts out laughing as she watches Adonis's reaction. "I'll have to try the air fryer part next time I'm too lazy to cook. I bet you could put some cajun seasoning -"

"No, both of you are gremlins. Although the Italian seasoning is a good idea... it at least adds flavor but," Adonis shakes his head.

At the same time as Kaz works on his pasta dough, Adonis gives him tips and works on his own ball of dough. He figures he can send any leftovers home with at least one of them and maybe that way, someone doesn't eat dried pasta from a box or pastries for dinner again.

"Kneading it is the time-consuming part," Adonis says out loud as they work. "But it can be therapeutic as well in its own way."

Kaz turns to face him and gives him the blank, glacial stare of the impenetrable Bastard of the Barrel. "Eaten raw dried like chips, while also eating pickle chips straight from the jar." He says it with the full intent of watching Adonis's world crash and burn. It's all true, though.

"Wait, does your question mean you've eaten one dried pasta from the box, Adonis? Did you like it? Perhaps next time, you should try two." Kaz's gaze now shifts to it's also known mischievous instigator look. He snaps his fingers, pointed at Piper. "Actually, Cajun seasoning would work. We should try that."

It's said in conjunction with Adonis absolutely telling them not to do that.

So, they will. Kaz gives Piper a 'call me' nod.

For all his heckling and making future disaster plans with Piper, Kaz does listen to Adonis when giving instructions. He's a good student if rarely having an instructor, and he respects that Adonis has done this for centuries. So he adjusts as told, and while his dough still doesn't look as good as the master chef's does, it doesn't look bad by any means. He can follow a recipe.

He tears off a bit to true and tosses some to Piper because raw egg doesn't scare him.

"There's a rhythm and physicality to it, I'll admit. I also wouldn't spend time on it again." He's at least honest. "But I'm glad to know it, and I look forward to seeing what cheese we can include in the sauce."

"If I didn't already consider you a bonafide demon before, I would now," Adonis says after a long pause and just shakes his head. It was only because Adonis had lived around actual demons and vampires for far too long that he wasn't put off by Kaz's stare. It was impressive and he could see why citizens of Ketterdam (and anywhere really) would be terrified of what he could do.

He chuckles. "When I've eaten dried pasta, it's one just to see what the taste is like. But I don't season it and eat it like popcorn."

"I think Cajun seasoning would make it even better," Piper agrees with a solemn nod and smirks at his 'call me' nod.

He eyes Kaz and Piper before shaking his head with a laugh. "You two are the literal worst," he mutters, though not at all serious. He enjoyed spending time with both of them and was glad they had this opportunity. They would really have to make more time for it. No matter how busy any of them got for things outside of work.

Piper lifts a finger and flings it at Adonis with a little burst of telekinetic ability. "Oops?"

Adonis pauses as it lands in his hair and stares at her. "Oops, my ass," he says and picks it out of his hair before tossing it into the trash. "I will definitely water down your whiskey. Only yours."

"It's Kaz's fault," Piper protests with a laugh, holding onto her glass and covering it with her hand as though that was the only way he could water it down.

"As if you need any reason to be a pain in the ass," Adonis says before looking at Kaz with an amused look. "That's fair enough." It's not everyone's cup of tea or coffee as the case may be.

He wraps both of their balls of dough with saran wrap and places them to the side. "Well let them rest for a little bit before rolling it out and cutting the noodles. You can sit for a bit in the meantime."

“The devil just shows the carrot, it’s up to the person to step off the ledge reaching for it,” Kaz replies primly about it being his fault, clearly not at all perturbed by it. “Or in this case, it’s more likely to be a glass of whiskey than it is a carrot.” He also agrees that some rewards are worth the inherent risk, and that annoying people can indeed be one of those rewards.

He gives a nod at Adonis when told that they can sit for a spell. Moving towards one of the stools set around the island, Kaz settles into one of the seats. He hooks his ankle on the bottom rung of the stool next to him, to ease the pressure on his leg from sitting with it bent. “Very well. Just let me know when we need to start working again.” Out of habit he takes out his phone to check in back home and ensure it’s all running smoothly. He’s certain it is, but of course he has to check.

"Or throw the carrot as the case may be," Piper laughs, flipping him off playfully.

Adonis snorts. "Don't throw the whiskey though, that's just a waste," he says while cleaning up the counters. Once the counters were clean, Adonis pulled out the items they'd need to cut and roll out the dough.

"Have they burned the place down yet in your absence," Piper asks, taking a sip from her glass while pushing Kaz's toward him now that he was sitting.

Adonis leans against the counter, picking up his glass for a drink.

"Not yet, though that might be more because I haven't got an Inferni on the crew at the moment than it being a show of their restraint." Kaz is never one to give credit where it might not be due. Mostly though he checks in because things can turn on a dime, especially in Ketterdam, and the separation anxiety of leaving his territory is real. It's not that he doesn't trust his people, he just doesn't want anything to happen when he's not able to help. Control issues, it's certainly not the first time they've cropped up in Kaz's life.

He accepts the glass slid his way with a nod of thanks, lifting it to sip. He knows full well he's got the lowest tolerance of this particular group thanks to her witch and his vampire metabolisms. He knows his tolerance level though and for a human he's no slouch. Two or three glasses of whiskey or wine won't leave him stumbling, albeit possibly buzzed. "I wonder what pasta you could make with whiskey," he muses, mostly to annoy Adonis, as he turns the glass in his hand.

"There are other ways to set fire to things other than having an inferni in the crew," Piper says. "Wylan would seem the type," she teases as she takes another sip from her glass. Though she teases, she likes Wylan and admires his talent in chemistry and demolition.

Adonis chuckles thinking of Wylan and nods. "Yeah, I can see it."

Piper grins. "Oh whiskey pasta! And wine pasta... or ice cream pasta," she says enthusiastically. Because she enjoyed giving Adonis shit at any opportunity she had.

"Why have I missed this again," Adonis asks rhetorically as he eyes the two of them with a laugh. "You could make ice cream "pasta" in that it's shaped like pasta. I'm sure someone in Japan or Asia is doing it already."

"Because you spent most of your time around demons in the underworld who you trust as far as you can throw them," she answers sweetly.

Kaz gives a faint, if still lopsided smile as Piper and Adonis banter between themselves. He still checks his phone periodically out of habit, it's difficult for him to ever not be in a work mindset, but he's used to multitasking and still knows what they're saying as their talk washes over him.

Taking another sip from his glass, he sets it down and then rises to his feet after a bit, going to poke at the dough. He's read up on it before coming, because of course he did. He watches as the dough rises after his finger makes the indent, a sign that it's rested. "Do you think we're about ready to pick up again?" he inquires, turning his body to poke the dough again and letting Adonis make the final call about it.

It was just about then that Adonis thought it was ready to test as well, so watching Kaz do it makes him grin. He notices the indent and nods. "Looks like it is," he says and tests his own dough, noticing the same. "Alright, let's move onto the next part."

He demonstrates the next steps in making the pasta.

"Oh, what about making fun shapes like... rocket ships, penises or whiskey bottles," Piper pipes up as she watches them with a grin.

Adonis blinks at her. "It's fettuccini, Pip, not an adult macaroni and cheese-"

"I mean, macaroni and cheese is just noodles and cheese, right? Fettuccini is just noodles and cheese too, right?"

It's said with such an innocent look on her face that Adonis had to resist throwing a piece of dough at her. "So really they are one and the same," she continues, though knowing it's likely a different kind of dough. Still, she had to.

"Drink your whiskey, brat. You know very well it's different."

Piper shrugs a shoulder and takes a drink from her glass before standing and getting everything out she'd need for the salad. "I'm just saying. You could be one of the lead providers of adult shaped pasta noodles. You're missing your calling."

"Or you are clearly with where your mind is at."

"Please, as if yours isn't perpetually there on a daily basis," she snarks.

[ooc: and we can go to when they're sitting down to eat whenever you'd like! ]

Kaz lets the conversation they're holding with one another wash over him, background noise since he's not addressed in it. He instead focuses on the tasks at hand to make the pasta and the sauce, easily committing it all to memory. Not just the steps, but the time taken between each one and the precise consistency desired for the ingredients. By the end of the cooking process he's finished his whiskey, and rinses out the glass since he knows they'll be having wine with dinner.

His leg is aching a little from standing so much, but not too badly. He helps set the table and carry out the dishes, fetching the wine and pouring some in glasses. Wine is another thing he doesn't know terribly much about with regards to taste, but he knows what labels are fancy and what good prices are for each. The business side of booze he gets, even if his particular palate isn't refined to distinguish once the liquor hits hits his tongue.

Retrieving his cane, he hooks it on his chair and settles into the meal to come. It looks good if he says so himself, to himself. Not a man who when left to his own devices cares about preamble or toasting, he just starts to eat. Giving a little nod after, he proclaims, "It's fine. Certainly not poison." What other compliment would one need?

Piper serves herself a little bowl of salad before taking a bite of the fettuccini and makes an appreciative sound. There were certain things that reminded her of the happier times and this was one of them. She could make certain dishes - usually pasta dishes or a few chicken dishes but her talents were with baking.

When Adonis had chosen to become a chef, they had all been rather surprised but he and David had brought up a decent point that they always needed something to do. They couldn't just sit around indefinitely.

And they had the chance to try out everything that had been a major pro in all of their books.

When Kaz confirms it was 'fine' and certainly not poison, Piper can't stifle her laugh as she takes another bite.

"I'm going to pretend that 'fine' really is just 'good', you heathen," Adonis says with an amused smirk, looking at Kaz while taking a bite of his own food. "Is there anything that you think you need to know for this job coming up?"

Kaz's indifference to the flavor of food is something he's definitely cultivated over the years for the sake of exasperation and amusement. It started out in truth however, he's only in very recent years not dealt with food scarcity. From life on a failing farm to living by himself on the streets, he both never had the chance in his youth to develop a refined palate but also has the stubborn ideology that as long as he eats to keep going, food has done its job. It's hard for Kaz to let himself enjoy things that fall outside his accepted parameters. There are certain flavors and ingredients that he gravitates towards, like curry or potatoes, but admitting out loud that something is good or bad is baffling to him when he judges food ultimately on the function it performs.

It satisfies him to needle Adonis with his attitude though, and he could just say it's good, because it is clearly well-made, but that wouldn't be as amusing.

Twirling the noodles, he lifts a mouthful on the fork to eat. Holding up a hand, he waits until he's finished chewing and swallowing to answer. He might not have some manners, but he doesn't enjoy talking with his mouth full. "Flirting with me won't get me to change my opinion," he smirks at being called a heathen, because of course Kaz would take that as a compliment. His tone turns more thoughtful afterwards as he contemplates the question. "I've done some research, but I suppose any terminology or secret rules one wouldn't find elsewhere. Always call your boss 'chef' and never go market shopping in your chef's whites, things like that."

Adonis gives him a put upon sigh. "And here I had hoped that with a good dinner, great whiskey and some sweet words that I'd finally break through," he says with a smirk. "I can see it'll take more than all of that."

Piper shakes her head with an amused look, focusing on her dinner.

He nods at what Kaz mentions and starts down the list of things that chef's would be expected to know and to adhere to. It was at least enough that it would get Kaz by for this job. "So long as you do all of that, you'll have no problem completing this job."

"I'm a hard fish to catch, but don't worry. There are plenty of fish in the sea." Being from Kerch, there are endless fish analogies at his arsenal. Kaz then points a finger at Piper and adds swiftly, "And before you say anything, yes I am sure I'm not really just the bycatch." Whether or not she had that or a similar quip at the ready he doesn't know, but like always he's attempting to get out ahead of the situation.

He twirls his pasta and eats as Adonis goes on in detail to answer his question. By the end his belly is full and he feels like he has a good handle on the situation. Giving a nod, he polishes off the remaining wine in his glass, feeling sated. "Sounds simple enough." At least it is for his memory. "I'll let you know how it goes. In the meantime, I won't ditch out before helping clean up." Mostly because Adonis had to teleport him back in Ketterdam.

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Cooking Lessons & A Free Dinner [for @noreasonneeded]

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