royal_musings | Summer Open Post

We may be snack thieves but at least we get rid of the evidence. Or at least toss it into the trash.

You're not going to win the haircut debate.

That is a very risky move but also not a surprising one.

Honestly, it could be rigged though. I imagine these home bakers are very competitive. While I want us to win because I can be competitive, I realize that's not the most important element.

It’s for the best, I’d hate to have to threaten more people for leaving trash on my desk.

[He doesn’t care that they eat his snacks, but Kaz’s room and office are very neat and clean and he appreciates those that respect it. A misplaced wrapper could be a slippery slope.]

Like much about me, the world just isn’t ready to fully appreciate my hair.

It paid off, and I didn’t have to get wasted. I fail to see the fun in reaching the sloppy stage of drinking.

So you don’t want me to ensure the odds are ever tipped in your baking favor?

Being threatened by Kaz Brekker isn't on anyone's Five Year Goal list.

Let's agree that it's certainly a choice.

No, getting to the point of being sloppy drunk is not fun. I've only been to that point a handful of times and I've regretted it every single time.

Well. Tempting. But, I would like to know just how well we do without the odds being tipped in our favor.

What a coincidence, part of my five year plan is to keep ensuring nobody welcomes being threatened by me.

Of course it’s a choice, I don’t just let things happen to me.

How many drunk dials are we talking about, now?

I figured. The offer’s still on the table. Or under the table, but you know what I mean.

Do you have to continue working on that or is it something that is self-sustaining now?

What do you tell the barber when you go in for a haircut? Or do you do it yourself? Genuinely curious.

Five. And let me be clear, it takes a lot for me to get sloppy drunk. I'm pretty sure two of those were to Adonis where I ended up yelling at him. Mostly because I can't drunk dial my ex.

I do know what you mean and the offer is appreciated. Now if you hear about someone else tipping the odds in their favor, then all bets are off.

Largely self-sustaining, but you know how it is, there’s always a certain level of maintenance to ensure things are running smoothly.

I do it myself, yeah. I’m not offended by the joking though, if that was a concern.

[Initially Nina’s barbs had made him self-conscious about how his hair looks, but by now, he’s used to the ribbing.]

Were the other three wrong numbers, then? Did you drunk rant at some poor stranger, Piper? Maybe they need an apology beignet even after all this time. If you can’t find them, I’ll accept the apology beignet on their behalf. To help you atone.

I’ll keep an ear and eye out, I promise.

That is very true. I do like making an appearance every so often to remind people that I'm still alive and can still kick their ass.

I figured you didn't care or weren't offended by the joking considering how often it happens. I can imagine though, if you went to a barber, that they would call it the Brekker.

Hm, they were some poor strangers. One had Jordan's old number. Honestly, she probably deserved a whole king cake or doberge cake after that phone call. You'll get all of the apology beignets on their behalf.

I had no doubt you would.

See? I’m always right, and in this case, also true.

Have my image up on the walls as a reference? That’d be funny. I’ve at least gotten better at it over the years. You should have seen me cutting my own hair at nine.

I’d take a king cake too without having to join the Mardi Gras parties. What were you calling Jordan to say?

One might think you don’t doubt me at all, save perhaps my morals.

I mean... yeah, in this case, definitely true.

Yes! For that, I would do their marketing materials. It's been years, but I would. I wish there were photos of a little Kaz Brekker at nine.

Considering how much you feed me, I'll send you a king cake during the season.

[ She pauses as she thinks back on that call. ]

Yelling at her for leaving me, for the stupid fight that I always blamed for us not being out that night together... and then apologizing. The poor woman no doubt wanted to hang up but just put herself/me on mute and let me have it out. At the end, I think I recall her saying 'feel better now?'

I definitely doubt your morals and your 'fine' taste in foods that shouldn't be eaten.

I looked every bit the demented demon then as I do now. Do you miss proper publicity work?

Obligatory ‘you don’t have to’ but it would get eaten.

Did you feel better?

I protest on the grounds that what I eat hasn’t killed me yet. The morals though, you have a point.

Yeah, I can see it. Only a smaller demented demon. Occasionally I do. I've considered taking on freelance clients but I'm giving myself a little more time to settle into whatever this new 'normal' is.

Considering everything we're getting up to in New Orleans, I'm trying my best to not do 'all of the things' at the same time.

A king cake may be something Nina and I can try our hands at some time.

I... did. A bit. There are still days when all of those emotions come rushing back but it did help.

Because as we have established, you have the stomach of a goat. Some days I'm not sure if I'm jealous of that fact or not.

Yup. I was only ever spawned with one layer, and it can be labeled questionable.

If you’d like. I never need anything on my personal behalf.

I’m glad it helped.

It largely came from eating out of trash cans and prison yards since childhood, but I can't deny it's effectiveness in toughening up my gastrointestinal tract.

There are worse things you could be labeled at least. Naive for one.

Me too. I'm sure it was more than the woman expected after getting a new number.

Yeah, I can see that. It does explain how you got the stomach you have.

Oh, I’ve been labeled many things. Some more accurate than others.

[Even naive, a very long time ago. It’s one that unfortunately did apply at the time.]

It could have been worse, you could have been someone she actually did know screaming at her.

I’m nothing if not being full of answers. Some of which I’m willing to share.

In all transparency, I have been too. We all have, no doubt.

I suppose you may be right about that. That's a good way of looking at it.

I thought you were nothing if not full of spite and coffee?

Some more than others.

A pragmatic view is usually the way to go.

I’m pretty tall, I can be full of many things. It’s why I never have to eat much to manage.

Truth. Some more than others.

I tend to be more cynical at times so that is a refreshing outlook.

Ah yes, I can see it now. Kaz Brekker: 1/2 Coffee, 1/4 Spite/Revenge, 1/4 Answers.

I think cynicism can serve someone well some of the time. That’s the joy of pragmatism in my experience - it all comes down to what’s the most useful, and figuring out what tools one needs to get where they want to go. I’ve seen people veer so far into cynicism that they end up stuck not doing a damn thing because they don’t think any point is worth pursuing. On the other end, too much optimism and people run off edges they don’t see coming.

That sounds about right. A deadly cocktail.

Just proves that too much of anything can be a bad thing.

I can't forget to add in a dash of potatoes and curry. You have to have some starch in there.

Money may be the sole exception to the rule, depending on whose hands it lands in.

Can’t forget some spice. I presume Cajun seasoning is your substitute?

It greatly depends on whose hands it's in for sure.

Absolutely. Have to have a heavy dash or two of Cajun seasoning.

When I first heard of Crystal’s Hot Sauce as a child I thought there would be real crystals or crystallization in the bottle. I was very smart.

Logically, it would make sense though and I am now very disappointed by the lack of actual crystals.

Maybe the crusty bits at the top of the cap can count. So you’re not disappointed that there aren’t any real crystals, not so I’ve never been wrong in my life.

It could but it's worth less money than crystals. We're all wrong at least once in our lives so I'm not that surprised.

Not that it matters but if it helps any, when I was a kid, I once thought there would be actual mermaids at Starbucks because of their logo.

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