royal_musings | Summer Open Post

Taking needless rather than calculated risks is the wrong definition of fun.

So I can blame your fashion sense on her?

I'm glad you're learning to read the fine print. That'll go farther in life than words of comfort ever will.

Just because you're allergic to excitement and fun, Kaz doesn't mean we all are.

It's okay to admit that you admire my fashion choices without giving thanks to my Mom.

I had to learn some time with all of your constant reminders!

Your head’s having fun because I’m keeping it attached to your body. Not as tightly as it should be attached, but I can’t work miracles.

I admire your mom for putting up with your fashion choices.

It almost sounds like you think I nag you, Jes.

Ah, now that would be a sight - Saint Kaz, patron saint of revenge and thievery.

If she had her way, my clothing would have been more brightly patterned.

Nag? Never.

Keep up the saint talk and I’ll smite you, you know. I’d rather be a demon than a saint.

The patterns mean something, right?

Exactly. It’s not nagging to let someone know I’m right.

Well no question, you are a demon. The demon of Ketterdam.

They do. Are you saying that you don't think the patterns I wear now mean anything?

But, repeatedly? Maybe. A little.

[He was amused by the conversation.]

It’s a title I wear with dishonor.

I think they mean you get dressed in the dark.

[Jesper looks and dresses fine, stylish in the flamboyant Barrel way. Kaz just can’t resist teasing him.]

Well, not everyone has as good a memory as I do. I could leave you notes instead if I thought you’d read them.

Do they have demonic saints?

I can't help that it's perpetually cloudy in Ketterdam, Kaz.

That would just be a waste of paper. I would end up using them as bookmarks.

There’s no such thing as saints, Jesper. [A controversial take, he knows. He’s the only one of the Crows who thinks that, the only one who didn’t bend a knee to someone like Neyar.] The world has demons and ghosts, and worst of all, people. That's all.

You could light a lantern while you dressed, it wouldn’t even use as much electricity as a wall light.

I don’t recommend the scented ones, though. They’re like inhaling a bar of soap, I felt like I could literally taste the smell. I don’t get the appeal. [‘It’ll calm you’ Inej had said, though he could hear her holding in laughter. ‘Very popular among Suli worship is to dedicate a scented candle to a saint for serenity.’ His scowl hadn’t done anything to dissuade her merriment.

He misses her, and her awful candles, and his only way to show it is to roundabout complain to Jesper.]

That implies you’re reading. What are you reading?

Edited 2023-09-20 11:51 (UTC)

Says you. If the world has demons, ghosts, and people, why can't there be the other side?

[ It is a conversation they've likely had off and on throughout the years of their friendship. Then he reads over the next couple of messages and can't help the short laugh. ]

You did choose something like 'clean laundry'. You should have gone with something more floral like geraniums or jasmine.

I read! Occasionally. Piper let me borrow 'How to Lose Friends & Alienate People.'

Because the world has proven not to give a shit, which means “saints” are fickle at best and incompetent at worst, so might as well save yourself and take the credit than worship useless drivel.

[Countless times, no doubt.]

I have never chosen a scented candle.

[That’s actually entirely honest, he hates them. That’s always been Inej.]

And they’re all terrible.

[Also true, though in a subjective rather than objective way this time.]

I was genuinely asking. I’m glad you’re reading. Wylan’s had a good influence getting you to sit still for longer than five minutes at a time.

Well, saints are not perfect - they're not God, after all. And I do take loads of credit for my wins. That and my pistols. They haven't let me down yet.

No, I suppose Inej would have chosen that one for you. Probably thought it would be the least offensive.

[ Ah but he misses her and her scented candles but mostly her. ]

Then I must admit, I'm not reading that. I've been flipping through a book about poker. Though Wylan has been a terrific influence while I have been an even better one one him.

It’s nothing but a title that can be used for manipulative purposes. There is power in that, but nothing holy about it. And your pistols are more reliable than titles like that will ever be.

[Kaz Brekker is a man of faith - only he puts that faith in his people, not higher powers or divine prophecies. He has faith in Alina because she’s Alina, not because she’s some worshiped sun summoner. The same goes for Piper. They’ll never be a saint or chosen one in his eyes. They’re just Alina and Piper.

And in lieu of having any clue what to do with his feelings on Inej no longer being around, Kaz makes the very logical choice to avoid dealing with it entirely. Skipping right over the mention of her.]

The number one part of poker strategy is patience. You don’t need a book for that, you’d need a miracle. And as we established, those don’t exist.

And what positive influence have you brought to my demolitions expert?

[Kaz knows. He can see the positive changes in Wylan. He’s just giving Jesper a chance to talk about his relationship under the guise of being sarcastic.]

[ He can't help the short laugh when he reads the text over from Kaz because that was Kaz Brekker for you. He wasn't surprised, it's again, a conversation they've had many, many times over the years and he still can't help but give him a little shit. While he may not name his pistols after saints like Inej did her knives, he held onto some of his beliefs from his parents. ]

You're always the life of the party, Kaz. And my aim, you can't forget that, you know.

Is it? That explains a lot. You may not believe in miracles but I do occasionally.

[ Someone like Wylan loves him, after all. And he can't forget his friendship with Kaz. ]

Wylan has gained confidence and his mind has opened to everything we do. He's also the most supportive man but that's not from me, that's how he is.

I trust your aim, but it’ll never be good enough to get me to a party. Not unless there’s a payout at the end that’ll line my pockets.

I know you do. I wouldn’t be surprised if you made wishes before blowing out a birthday candle, too.

You seem more confident, too. Not just from Wylan.

The typical kind of parties that involve a payout at the end is not the kind of parties you want to go to, boss.

[ Is Jesper thinking of parties that involve strippers? Likely. ]

I did but at the last one I wished for Milo to find his way to Ketterdam and sadly, no Milo.

[ Did he? Probably. ]

Me? I've always been confident!

But yes, okay, there has been more confidence.

[ Probably because he was no longer denying what he was nearly as much. ]

[Kaz had meant attending a party while he was on a job and receiving payment after for that, but he's not in the least surprised how Jesper took it. Although Jesper's not entirely right that Kaz is above enjoying seeing pretty people dancing or showing flesh - provided they're doing it willingly by choice and paid for it. He'd never go out of his way to enjoy it, he doesn't go out of his way to enjoy much of anything, but growing up and hearing other boys talk about such things, he's always wanted it, too. It's just his touch aversion that's kept him from being able to do so.

Parties though in general are terrible and that much he can reiterate.]

I don’t want to go to any parties.

The Slat's no place for a farm animal, Jesper. It's for the best. [Practical as always.]

What skills are you working on, then?

Oh, I know which is why, you rely on me to be the face of our gatherings. A job that I relish, I must say.

Just because it's for the best doesn't mean I still can't wish for it, Kaz. It's the point of wishes.

And now it really won't come true because I told you.

My fabrikating skills to create items that we've needed in a pinch.

I know you do. I can’t fathom how or why, but I don’t need to.

There’s no point in wishing for anything.

Well, I certainly don’t want to clean up goat droppings in the house, so you can definitely blame me for it not happening.

Yes, line your pockets with them so you don’t rip off my belt buckle to use in a pinch. Again. [His pants had nearly fallen down from it, thanks so much.]

No, all you need to know is that I like entertaining the masses.

Do you think goats can be house trained?

That was once! And it was for a good reason. And also, exactly the reason so that I don't have to rip your belt off or anyone else's in a pinch.

You do enjoy being liked far more than I do.

Why would I know anything about goats, Jesper.

[He does, from a lifetime ago that he's long since locked away.]

Once was more than enough, yes. I will concede that we did manage to live to not tell the tale.

I do, it's a gift.

Because you know everything, Kaz. I assumed goats were among the endless amount of knowledge you store in your brain.

See, I am just that good! And now we don't talk about it and I just make sure I have enough material around incase something goes down.

As they always do.

Yes, I've seen you wrap yourself in bows on more than one occasion.

From my vast knowledge about everything then, I don't think a goat would be happy with just a rooftop garden.

I do like the reinforcement you added to my cane. The weight and balance works better.

No, I suppose not. Especially if he would have to battle it out for resources with the actual crows.

One of my best yet.

I'm sure there is more we can do when I've practiced a bit more but it works better and that's what matters.

You could always go to the outskirts of the city for a therapy goat visit, you know.

... yeah. Guess you better keep practicing, then. I can be quite demanding, you know.

[Seeing Jesper own himself, and own his abilities in such a way as to offer them back takes Kaz by surprise. His initial instinct is to insist he needs nothing, but this Jesper? It's a good look. It suits him. And he's a talented Durast. Only a fool would refuse.

Kaz is smiling a little as he replies.]

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