royal_musings | Summer Open Post

Ah yes, the pigeons.

Have you already replaced us with the crows' less fortunate and definitely less talented cousins already?

[ Let's face it, Jesper really didn't care about the family tree of birds and if pigeons and crows were cousins, he just wanted to give Kaz a hard time. ]

[Kaz realizes his mistake the moment Jesper teases him. He's a lot more tired than he thought, he rarely makes slip ups. Something to keep in mind going into this next meeting. Not that he'll admit to it, of course.]

Just keeping you on your toes. Of all the pigeons who come into the club, perhaps one might be worth recruiting rather than swindling. One who'll stay awake and sober enough to talk to me when I get back.

Of course you are, boss.

I didn't think of you as an optimist.

I can sense the sarcasm from here, you know.

Not an optimist, an opportunist. Leave options open and contingencies plentiful.

You've known me this long, I would hope so.

Pigeons though are not contingencies. They are the bottom of the barrel... pun intended.

Hope is dangerous, you know. Clouds one’s judgment.

The Dregs were at the bottom of the Barrel once. I’m not saying I’m going to make a habit out of scouting the pigeons, Jesper. I’m just saying it pays to keep one’s eyes open and never rest on any laurels.

And I'm fine. I promise. It's just been a long day.

All the best things are. It's what makes them so fun.

They're not the sort to stay sober and awake until their boss returns from their special meeting, I can tell you that much.

Someone will make sure you have a pot of coffee waiting for you when you return.

It’s better to be a danger to others than to one’s self, Jes.

Mm. Not the sort to have your sharpshooting either? I suppose that means your spot as my second is secure.

Especially if there is coffee.

Why not both?

Hah, you'd be lucky they know how to shoot at all!

There will be coffee. Even if it means I receive the wrath of Nina for enabling you.

[He doesn’t even answer that first part for a long moment, he just gives his phone a look that he wills Jesper to feel through the device.]

Never even the odds when they can be staked in your favor.

Your mother taught you, didn’t she? I remember you saying that.

Good man. I promise, her bark’s worse than her bite. Some of the time.

[ It was only due to their friendship that he can imagine Kaz staring at his phone at his response. ]

Oh but one is definitely more fun than the other.

She did. Taught me nearly everything I know.

Your addition of 'some of the time' isn't so comforting.

Taking needless rather than calculated risks is the wrong definition of fun.

So I can blame your fashion sense on her?

I'm glad you're learning to read the fine print. That'll go farther in life than words of comfort ever will.

Just because you're allergic to excitement and fun, Kaz doesn't mean we all are.

It's okay to admit that you admire my fashion choices without giving thanks to my Mom.

I had to learn some time with all of your constant reminders!

Your head’s having fun because I’m keeping it attached to your body. Not as tightly as it should be attached, but I can’t work miracles.

I admire your mom for putting up with your fashion choices.

It almost sounds like you think I nag you, Jes.

Ah, now that would be a sight - Saint Kaz, patron saint of revenge and thievery.

If she had her way, my clothing would have been more brightly patterned.

Nag? Never.

Keep up the saint talk and I’ll smite you, you know. I’d rather be a demon than a saint.

The patterns mean something, right?

Exactly. It’s not nagging to let someone know I’m right.

Well no question, you are a demon. The demon of Ketterdam.

They do. Are you saying that you don't think the patterns I wear now mean anything?

But, repeatedly? Maybe. A little.

[He was amused by the conversation.]

It’s a title I wear with dishonor.

I think they mean you get dressed in the dark.

[Jesper looks and dresses fine, stylish in the flamboyant Barrel way. Kaz just can’t resist teasing him.]

Well, not everyone has as good a memory as I do. I could leave you notes instead if I thought you’d read them.

Do they have demonic saints?

I can't help that it's perpetually cloudy in Ketterdam, Kaz.

That would just be a waste of paper. I would end up using them as bookmarks.

There’s no such thing as saints, Jesper. [A controversial take, he knows. He’s the only one of the Crows who thinks that, the only one who didn’t bend a knee to someone like Neyar.] The world has demons and ghosts, and worst of all, people. That's all.

You could light a lantern while you dressed, it wouldn’t even use as much electricity as a wall light.

I don’t recommend the scented ones, though. They’re like inhaling a bar of soap, I felt like I could literally taste the smell. I don’t get the appeal. [‘It’ll calm you’ Inej had said, though he could hear her holding in laughter. ‘Very popular among Suli worship is to dedicate a scented candle to a saint for serenity.’ His scowl hadn’t done anything to dissuade her merriment.

He misses her, and her awful candles, and his only way to show it is to roundabout complain to Jesper.]

That implies you’re reading. What are you reading?

Edited 2023-09-20 11:51 (UTC)

Says you. If the world has demons, ghosts, and people, why can't there be the other side?

[ It is a conversation they've likely had off and on throughout the years of their friendship. Then he reads over the next couple of messages and can't help the short laugh. ]

You did choose something like 'clean laundry'. You should have gone with something more floral like geraniums or jasmine.

I read! Occasionally. Piper let me borrow 'How to Lose Friends & Alienate People.'

Because the world has proven not to give a shit, which means “saints” are fickle at best and incompetent at worst, so might as well save yourself and take the credit than worship useless drivel.

[Countless times, no doubt.]

I have never chosen a scented candle.

[That’s actually entirely honest, he hates them. That’s always been Inej.]

And they’re all terrible.

[Also true, though in a subjective rather than objective way this time.]

I was genuinely asking. I’m glad you’re reading. Wylan’s had a good influence getting you to sit still for longer than five minutes at a time.

Well, saints are not perfect - they're not God, after all. And I do take loads of credit for my wins. That and my pistols. They haven't let me down yet.

No, I suppose Inej would have chosen that one for you. Probably thought it would be the least offensive.

[ Ah but he misses her and her scented candles but mostly her. ]

Then I must admit, I'm not reading that. I've been flipping through a book about poker. Though Wylan has been a terrific influence while I have been an even better one one him.

It’s nothing but a title that can be used for manipulative purposes. There is power in that, but nothing holy about it. And your pistols are more reliable than titles like that will ever be.

[Kaz Brekker is a man of faith - only he puts that faith in his people, not higher powers or divine prophecies. He has faith in Alina because she’s Alina, not because she’s some worshiped sun summoner. The same goes for Piper. They’ll never be a saint or chosen one in his eyes. They’re just Alina and Piper.

And in lieu of having any clue what to do with his feelings on Inej no longer being around, Kaz makes the very logical choice to avoid dealing with it entirely. Skipping right over the mention of her.]

The number one part of poker strategy is patience. You don’t need a book for that, you’d need a miracle. And as we established, those don’t exist.

And what positive influence have you brought to my demolitions expert?

[Kaz knows. He can see the positive changes in Wylan. He’s just giving Jesper a chance to talk about his relationship under the guise of being sarcastic.]

[ He can't help the short laugh when he reads the text over from Kaz because that was Kaz Brekker for you. He wasn't surprised, it's again, a conversation they've had many, many times over the years and he still can't help but give him a little shit. While he may not name his pistols after saints like Inej did her knives, he held onto some of his beliefs from his parents. ]

You're always the life of the party, Kaz. And my aim, you can't forget that, you know.

Is it? That explains a lot. You may not believe in miracles but I do occasionally.

[ Someone like Wylan loves him, after all. And he can't forget his friendship with Kaz. ]

Wylan has gained confidence and his mind has opened to everything we do. He's also the most supportive man but that's not from me, that's how he is.

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